hi people. i'm enjoying life to the max. :)
thanks for the call yesterday daddy, wishing me happy valentines. and mommy for the sweet message. i really appreciate them all. However, dad, do you really mean what you said on the phone? i hoped so, but well,... i have no idea. i hope you know what i'm feeling inside me okay. i try to be a better daughter for you and mom. You certainly have higher hopes on me compared to mom. I always tried my best to fulfill them but whenever i fail to, your words really discouraged me and i almost wanted to give up studying overseas you know. You always say that i'm really wasting money here, and there's no purpose of studying here since you think that i'm just an average kid who is not so intelligent and be someone extraordinary like you have always wanted me to be. I'm sorry, this is all i have. I tried my best okay. You keep telling me to go to pure science stream take a lot of difficult subjects and be a doctor or something. Mom always tells me to just be what i want to be and don't feel so pressurized. However, i always try to live up to your standards. I really try my best in everything. Everytime i tell you my results, you never seem to believe. When i tell you that i got the 3rd in level and my brother said that i exaggerated and i actually got the 30th in class, you decided to believe my brother. I offered to you my report book and i really wanted to prove to you that i really did it, but what did you say? you said " its no use lying. Only God knows". I almost cried... You didn't even want to take a look at your daughter's academic performance. i was really discouraged you know and i really felt like giving up and going back to Indo. Everytime i tell you about my boyfriend (currently none though,) and tell you about my life stories, you never seem to be interested at all. You always think that whatever choices i made were all stupid and everything has to go your way. I'm already 15 and going to be 16 soon. Can't i just decide things myself instead of going your way?
Sometimes, your words really cause me to cry myself to sleep in Indo. Thats why i tend to stay longer in spore compared to other foreigners,so i can be apprehensive about the ongoing matters in Indo... Dad i really hope one day you can understand me.. i'm sure at times i'm the one in wrong, sometimes shouting at you and ignoring your calls or whatever, but i just don't want to hear your piercing words. they really break my heart. Can you please compliment me on something?! I know i'm a human with a lot of flaws and i'm very far away from the word "perfect"... i'm sorry readers to disappoint you guys with such pathetic post coming out from me. but its really what i'm feeling. dont bother to continue reading please if you feel disturbed.

welcome to its-fets@bs.com :)
this blog belongs to me, stef :D
and i am a straightforward person who speaks my mind out.
i rant what i like and i like what i rant.
if you do not, then you're welcomed to click the 'X' sign on the top right hand corner :D
anyway, do tag some things before you leave, but please, no vulgarities?
and no mr/ms/mrs/mdm anonymous & mr yadablabla or whatver.
no ripping :D
yeah, if you have anything to say about my blog which's kinda personal
or you want to suggest some brilliant ideas for my blog which is kinda dying,
email! princesswarrior1@hotmail.com
last but not least, enjoy :D

i am: STEFANIE
TOP 15 facts about me.
#01. i'm a person with 8-syllables-name & i'm lovin it: STEFANIE KURNIA JAYA
#02. i'm turning sweet sixteen next year, 28th of march!
#03. i'm standing tall at 1700mm/170cm high.
#04. i'm the oldest kid in my family, and have a younger brother ANTHONY
#05. i'm a christian and i love God
#06. i'm once from ballet,basketball,badminton, swimming, art club & used to play piano& sheng:D
#07. i'm in the class threetwo and i love them truckloadz:D
#08. i'm telling you SLEEP EAT GYM is my lifestyle :D
#09. i'm proud to be a Chinese indonesian who doesnt speak chinese :D
#10. i'm like taking o level, the very next year!
#11. i'm so outdoor. i love adventure camps, gyming! , iceskate!, rollerblade! bbq!
#12. i'm an ss pig (:
#13. i'm a little green person :D
#14. i'm telling you, i wanna continue taking amaths next year :D
#15. i'm gonna conquer chinese language olevel next year.mwahahahaha.
music :D

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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